Behind the Scenes
by SilverSatori
Summary: Hellsing Ultimate is THE new series everybody is waiting for. And I was just lucky enough to visit the set, talk to the director and actors. Fangirl heaven ahead! If there wasn't the little problem I wasn't supposed to be here...


Hi there, yes, me again! I'm kinda on hiatus with Renegade (not really from your perspective, because wise as I am I've got more chapters done than uploaded. I want a little space if I really have no time for writing, so I'm not uploading all of them. Also, it's better for checking on spelling and grammar mistakes. Sorry, pals xD), so... new sentence.

I'll be on vacation and not uploading (but write a lot :3), but as promised I was working on a little one-shot to pass the time. I have no idea where I dreamt up that idea and it turned out a whole lot longer than I had expected. But here you go and tell me what you think. Personally, I like how it turned out.

Please don't ask me how it happens that some of the characters have the same name as their actor (or rather the other way around) while there is the original series (meaning books or mangas, I'm not sure). I don't know. I was too lazy to think of new names for everyone and that would be boring. I went with the "modern" version, so it plays in our time with all the technology. (Did you notice that in the epilogue of Hellsing they are using typewrites? In _2030_?!)

* * *

Oh. My. God.

This was the first thing I thought. Then I said it. Shrieked it.

"OH MY GOD!"

I was just a puny little intern in this big magazine. Stella, the boss, had just given me this note, already on the run for some meeting, not even noticing I was _not_ our star journalist from the "Series" department, Linda Berrett. Linda had been sick for three weeks. When I tried to correct the error Stella rolled her eyes and told me I should do it instead.

Confused, but happy I had something better to do than bring everyone coffee, I had retreated to the intern office, whose sole inhabitant I was since the beginning of this week. (Another girl had quit because of the pressure of being yelled at for everything, which was really the only thing that made me continue. Everyone was out of the race. Only I remained. My chance. No matter how much I cried in secrecy, I wouldn't give up like that.) Then I opened the file and my heart skipped a beat. After several seconds of staring at the paper open-mouthed, unable to breathe, the news reached my brain.

I would go to the set of the new series Hellsing Ultimate and get to interview every last person there, including the actors.

"Oh my God!", I screeched. A grumpy-looking old secretary whose name I couldn't pronounce held her head in. "Shut up, people are trying to work here. And make new coffee, the boss will need it."

"Sure," I gleamed, which took her by surprise and made her even more grumpy. As far as I knew, her job was to make the interns' lives a living hell. But at the moment I was invincible. Tomorrow I would get to meet all the stars I had admired for so long.

Vladimir Tepes, Alexander Anderson, Max Montana, Enrico Maxwell, and also the co-stars, like Heinkel Wolfe, and Hans Günsche, and Walter Dornez, and...

The day dragged itself to an eternity, but not even Stella's constant bitching managed to bring me down. My Mum asked if I had had a divine vision because I came home singing, which hadn't happened since I started the internship.

I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep, but I did. And I dreamed of messing up bad. I woke at six in the morning, an hour before I had to get up to get my stuff from the office. The office was next to empty, as I had expected. I got my intern's pass, notepads and pens, a recorder and tapes. I ran into Stella on my way out.

"Where might you be going at that time?", she asked, raising a perfectly shaped platinum blond eyebrow.

"On that job you gave me yesterday," I said vaguely, but determined.

You could literally see how she went through her memories of yesterday. Then she laughed out loud. "Oh, dear, that was not for you! I told you you should give it to Fran. We can't send an intern on such a difficult and important job." I sagged, feeling like someone had just ripped the carpet out under my feet. She hadn't said that. I knew it. "Oh," I said quietly. "Okay."

Stella smiled a white smile and disappeared. "And bring me my coffee!"

I stared after her. I wanted to quit anyway. They couldn't sue me or anything.

 _Screw this._ I turned around and walked out. Time to get on the set. Maybe I could talk to at least a few of them before anyone noticed I was the wrong journalist. And then? I would probably not find another internship and my Mum would ground me for all eternity. But at least I would have had a great day. There weren't so many I could just ignore the opportunity.

The studio was on the outskirts of London. It was gigantic and I had to pull myself together to get myself to walk on after climbing out of the cab. My heart was fluttering even more than my legs were trembling. I almost dropped the notepad I had clung to for good luck all the time. Luckily, all the rest of my stuff was in my bag.

"Hi there, are you from _Insider_?" My heart skipped a beat when I recognized the voice. I had watched every filmed moment of every character on TV if I was home. Of course I recognized all of them. For a second I was frozen on the spot, then I turned and blinked up at the tall silver-haired man. He grinned at me. Hans Günsche, the Major's silent guardian. At least in the series. I had read all the books, but about the new series itself there was next to nothing known. I was gaping like an idiot, I know, because that was better than starting to screech like I was internally.

"Hi," I whispered. At least the word broke my paralysis. I would NOT behave like a fourteen-year-old at a Nirvana concert. I cleared my throat and added: "Yes, I am."

"We were told you were coming. Fran Daringer, right?" He had such a beautiful voice, it was a shame he didn't use it in the series. The German accent was so faint I had to strain myself hearing it. I knew he had actually dark hair and his eyes were brown instead of the werewolf-red they would be in the series. Promo pictures hooray!

He towered over me. It was not hard to imagine him to be a werewolf. "I'll show you around and you can talk to the others."

"Uh... okay. But we can start right away, if you don't mind." I hadn't even prepared questions, I realized. So I had to make up things now. "Do you like working on the set?"

"Oh yes, it's great," he said. We walked along a front hall. There were fighting sounds, then someone called "Cut!". One room was only lit up by the computer screens. They were preparing the special effects on the scenes already shot. "The people are really nice. I already worked with Max a few times, and the new co-director is equally good." He broke off. "Hm, now I slipped. We shouldn't talk about it. You'll meet her later."

I had all the questions a fan would have. I only needed to phrase them more professional. "You and your character are already incredibly popular, despite the fact that he is a villain. What do you think why that is?"

"Why?", he repeated. "Hell, I have no idea."

"Most see him more as an anti-hero," I added.

"That could be. Certainly, it's an honor. I'll do my best not to disappoint the fans." He laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll make a great impression. Say what's your take on the character? I mean, there is nothing known, except for his loyalty to the Major."

He looked at me a bit more closely. "You really are into this, aren't you?"

I blushed. "I... have been a fan... for a while."

He grinned. "You know what, that's awesome. There's nothing worse than a journalist who only half-knows the topic." I could breathe again. Now I only needed to take care not to let slip I was not supposed to be here. Talkative as I am when I'm nervous, that was harder than it sounds.

"So, what do you think? Or even better, did Hirano tell you something? Was he even here?"

"Yes, the author was here to approve the script, but he went back to Japan to work on his new series. I think he trusts us with this. I don't give away spoilers, though."

"It won't end up in the article," I promised. "Off the records, I swear."

He laughed and I somehow expected him to ruffle my hair. I was 16 and he was like two feet taller than me. Although I was posing as a 30-year-old journalist now, of course.

"Hirano didn't tell anyone of us anything, to be honest. But of course, all of us read the original series and made up stories. That's what you do when you portray a character." Not only then, I thought. "In my opinion the Major saved the Captain someday. Emotionally, I mean. Being so different in a society that rejects people who are different must be hard. He was lonely, and had to cope with his curse or gift, depends on how you see it. So the Major saved him and in return he obeys every order, no matter if he agrees or not. I don't think he really cares about their goals. After such a long time, he only wants to die and find peace, I think that much was clear in the end. Speaking of which-" He broke off and turned. There was a blond woman in a uniform with a mini-skirt walking by. I wasn't sure what to say, and maybe that was best. "Hi Seras," Hans said.

"Hi," she said wryly and gave me an annoyed glance. "That the journalist?"

"Yes, I'm-"

She didn't let me finish. "Nice. You can have an appointment this evening. I don't have time now. Besides, I told the others I don't have time today, but I'll see what I can do. Later." She turned away and walked into a make-up room, head held high and walking to emphasize her feminine grace. I had already thought about a few questions for her, but after this I wasn't sure if I had the courage to ask anyone anything.

"Don't take it personally," Hans told me. "She's always like that. The best payback would be not to write about her at all, but that's bad for the magazine, I suppose."

"Yeah, it is." I tried not to show how hard this suddenly was again. "Another question. How does it feel to play such a badass character?" Phrasing it professionally. Sure thing.

"It's great. A bit like Wolverine." He laughed. "Don't quote that. I don't think I'm that good an actor, but being an action hero is just right." Like hell he was not a good actor!

"You do all the stunts yourself?"

"Mostly. A lot is special effects, of course. Like the part where her transforms to a big wolf." The giant badass wolf form, like the fandom called it.

"You already shot those parts?", I asked, surprised. That was part of the very last volume.

"We shot the studio parts first. And when it was raining." He laughed. "Otherwise everything is shot at the real locations."

"Which ones are real, then?" Wow, this was getting better by the second!

"Well, the zeppelins are all just studio and special effects. But the Hellsing mansion is real, though it doesn't look completely like in the series." I have to admit my jaw dropped at that. I knew Integra Hellsing was playing the role of the same name, but that they actually allowed to shoot at their mansion?

"Sir Arthur showed us around before we started. We'll have a dinner party there this evening," Hans continued. "Maybe she'll allow you to have a tour if she's asked by anyone of the team." I was too stunned to say anything for several seconds, maybe minutes. In the meantime, Hans showed me through various rooms and hallways and I felt like walking through a dream. The interior of the Deus Ex Machina, its top where the Major would direct the War Orchestra, Maxwell's office, the deck of the HMS Eagle. Hans put a finger to his lips and peeked through another door before opening it completely and ushering me through. We stepped into another studio and my heart skipped a beat.

A super-long table, twelve chairs on the one side, two on the other, one at the back, a podium with a throne. Pillars on the sides, white marble (or what should look like marble - I doubted it was real).

"There's the director," Hans said quietly and pointed at a chubby blond man. _Oh. My. God!_ , I thought. _Max Montana._

"Who's directing when he's in character?", I asked.

"Our co-director." _Co-director. Right._ I was an idiot, obviously. "She'll be in character in the next scene, so she's not here now." Man, why were they making such a fuss about keeping that secret? I always assumed it was Integra Hellsing anyway. Her family was funding this for the most part, so that was the only logical alternative. They had had managed to get their hands on quite a few good actors, but otherwise no one known for being a director.

Hans winked at me. "Now watch and marvel." In my excitement of seeing the director (and the Major...), I had forgotten what scenery we were standing in. Krauney House. The big conference. Maybe my most favorite scene ever.

Max shot me a bright smile and put on his glasses. "Alright everyone!", he announced. "Let's get going, we have a lot to do." He had a rather shrill voice for a man. I tried to imagine him talking with a German accent. Maybe it was obvious, because Hans said: "You'll hear him in this scene. We let the tape run, so the others know when to respond."

Now said others entered. I couldn't keep track of all the Round Table members, but there were Seras, Pip Bernadotte, Walter Dornez, and then, Vladimir Tepes, the super-star. Holy crap, he was even more handsome in person, even by a distance of fifty yards. The pale make-up looked great. Heinkel Wolfe (or whatever her real name was) and Marco Renaldo took their positions, Schrödinger too. Man, those cat ears looked super-soft, I wanted to touch them. Last, Enrico Maxwell and Integra Hellsing entered, hand in hand. In full costume. This photo would be jet fuel for the shippers (like me). I mean, their characters hate each other, so it was even more funny that they were a couple in real life. He said something and she blushed, punching him playfully on the shoulder, which he credited with a laugh. They sat down on their assigned positions and got ready for the shoot. It went very quiet.

"Action!", Max said.

* * *

Schrödinger set down the portable screen. "Zey're useless against me. I'm everyvhere and novhere." The camera was on his left side, looking at Seras and Pip, the mercenary with his gun drawn. Seras was looking confused. For a few seconds, nothing happened. I supposed the thoughts were inserted over voice-over later. Schrödinger turned his head and noticed Seras. His ears twitched. For real. _How the heck do they do that?_ Yeah, sorry if I sound like a three year old in the circus, because that's what I felt like. I didn't know much about the tricks of movie-making. The camera rolled forward, showing them both from the sides, then Schrödinger from the front when he bowed a little. "Guten Tag!" I couldn't see his face, but heck, he had to look hot. Seras winced, a second camera taking in a close-up of her, then hung her head. "Guten Tag." Just for the record, I don't know shit about filming, but close-ups and movements are easy to determine by how close the camera is and how it moves. Yes, in my spare time, my name is Captain Obvious.

He laughed, the camera behind Seras' back moving a little, and then another one taking in what I supposed to be a close-up. God, this smile was killing me. He was barely a year older than me and already a successful actor. Well, considering his daddy was one of the big directors, that was no surprise. Schrödinger is played by Simon Montana, Max' son, if I didn't mention that yet.

While Schrödinger explained his mission, a camera overhead panned along the table, taking in the scenery.

Then, after a hard fight with the remote, taken in by a camera mystically appearing from under the table – I couldn't help staring at it in awe -, the screen 'clicked on' (it was a green screen, for real), and for the first time, I heard the Major's voice. The accent made him sound entirely different, and he sounded evil, even if he was just saying he couldn't see anything on the screen. Solo shots of Integra (her eye was twitching); Maxwell, seeming angry, but not surprised; and Irons. It was kinda astounding how much even an amateur like me could discern by just keeping track of the camera movements. Also, there were lights flicking on and off when it was used. I lost interest in it when the scene went on. Dear God, it was amazing. I couldn't believe I was standing here! Gunshots, the conference attendants looked shocked. Schrödinger laughed. "Major, sounds like you really haf your hand full zere!" I wished I could already see what would be shown either on the small screen or the original shots later. Vladimir, no, Alucard, walked up to the screen, a grin on his face. "Hello, Major!" Holy crap, that voice.

"Alucard," the Major answered, stretching the second syllable. "So happy to see you again. It really has been far too long." The camera behind Vladimir moved with him as he approached the screen. Front shot of the small screen. Suddenly I wondered if it was weird to see yourself on film like that, or listen to your own voice. I always thought my voice sounded horrible on tape, which meant my voice sounded horrible in general.

Now Integra intercepted. "What is it that you want?" I had trouble keeping track of all the cameras and all actors at the same time. Maxwell hadn't said anything yet, but looked confused, angry and annoyed at the same time. I couldn't see which shot was being taken, but the Major said: "Ah, finally face to face with the Fräulein herself." I had my doubts about their pronunciation. A German friend of mine, I was talking with her on the phone from time to time, said those words totally different. But I suppose others than a native speaker would not even notice. "Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. It's a pleasure to meet you."

A camera on the ground panned along on her right side while she was talking. "What's your purpose? What are you trying to accomplish? Answer me!"

"The purpose," the Major said slowly. "That's a silly question, beautiful Fräulein." A camera on the table zoomed out form the screen. The Major laughed and Integra's eyes widened for a second.

"And cut!", the Major, no, Max I mean, called. "Good work!" Gosh, this "it's the Major, but it's not the Major" was making my head spin.

"I didn't know you shoot that long scenes in one," I said.

"I like experimenting." I winced and almost jumped through the roof, metaphorically. Max Montana was wearing a white suit and I was not sure if he was in costume or just liked to run around like that all the time. He had taken off the glasses. And he was taller than I thought. Then again, I'm super-short, pretty much exactly five feet. I need a stepladder to access the top shelf of our fridge. It's awful.

The table erupted into laughter behind him. We all turned for a moment. Looked like somebody had cracked a joke. Only Seras was rolling her eyes. Max studied her for a moment then turned back to me. "It's not usual, you're right. But I think it looks better if we have less cuts in between. The actors are skilled enough for that."

"And nobody even cracked up. Wow," I thought out loud.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'd have to check, but we did this scene about twenty times already. After a while there's less to laugh about." I could imagine him as the Major, oh yes, absolutamente. But now he looked really kind and friendly, just like all the others. (Maybe except for Seras. Damn, how could she pretend to be the nicest character in the whole series?)

"We'll talk later. What's your name again?"

"Fran Daringer," I said. "From _Insider_."

"Very well. I'd love to know what you as a real fan think about us so far." How the hell did he know that? It was not like I was wearing a t-shirt "I am a huge Hellsing fan". I had something along those lines, but I hadn't put it on of course. I wore a conservative blouse, my best jeans and sneakers. That was the most formal attire I had.

He walked back to his chair, but didn't sit down. "Alright, next scene." He waited for a moment. "Action!"

They let the Major's speech and the death of the generals run, so the actors could get back into character. I heard the Doctor's voice for the first time. It was a bit deeper than I had imagined, but not bad. I had to get used to it. Another camera took in the scene from overhead, this time panning in the other direction. Integra, extremely angry. Not only Maxwell had the twitchy eye it seemed. Pip and Seras, trembling in horror. Schrödinger crossed his arms around his neck and looked around with a laugh. "Oh, wow, I didn't zink your decision vould be zat harsh, Sir!"

"You're insane," Maxwell suddenly stated. His violet eyes were glowing. In real life he had blue eyes, so I supposed those were contacts like so many of the actors had to wear. I almost melted at his deep voice with the Italian accent and Hans shot me an amused glance. "All of you!"

"Did I just hear someone from Iscariot questioning _my_ sanity?", the Major asked mockingly. A camera panned along the edge of the screen, also taking in a shot of Maxwell, I supposed. "Zen answer me zis: If your God would allow my madness to flourish across the globe, zen wouldn't it seem to you zat any God like zat would be just as mad as I?"

Maxwell's eyes widened and he clenched his teeth. That was some hell of a mimic. No wonder he was so asked for in the industry.

They let another one of the Major's speeches run past. Again, I won't record all of it, that would spoil the fun of watching the series. Of course, I can't remember everything, but I did listen to it intently, especially because there was not much going on on the set. Those were the Major's scenes that would be edited in later. As Max had said, this was the what probably felt to them the bazillionst take of this scene, so there was no need to give more directions. All knew where the cameras were and what they had to do.

"My true enemy is Britain. The Hellsings. Well, really, that man laughing in the corner back zere!" His accent was a bit wavy, I thought. But it was sufficient for all intents and purposes. More single shots, of an angry Integra, Maxwell raising an eyebrow, and a shocked Seras. A cameras zoomed out from where Schrödinger was standing at the end of the table. Then Vladimir (Alucard... you know what I mean) started laughing. It echoed in the fake hall and I could feel a shiver running down my spine. I'm not sure if I was fangirling or scared.

"A declaration of war! Excellent!", he growled. "I can't wait to destroy you again!" He clenched his fist. The moment was for me slightly spoiled by the camera to his feet.

"No matter vhat you do, ve vill never give up," the Major sad softly. "Ve vill reverse this ridiculous situation as many times as ve haf to."

"Alucard." For a moment, Integra almost sounded bored. "Seras. Kill him." A camera hovered over the table and panned along as Alucard put the Casull to Schrödinger's mouth, who looked less confused or even anxious, only adorable.

"And, CUT!" A clapper board ended this scene. Vladimir drew back the gun and Schrödinger, Simon, rubbed his mouth.

"Sorry," Vladimir said. The cat boy shrugged his shoulders.

"No problem. As long as we don't have to shoot that five more times."

"No, this was perfect," Max said. "We can keep it like that." Maxwell said something I didn't hear and the table erupted with laughter. His place on this set couldn't be more obvious. Dark series, but the guy playing the psychopath cracks the jokes off-screen.

"Hi there, aren't ye the journalist?" I turned around and had to stare upwards to see his face. He was as tall as Hans and in full costume. And the best thing: That accent had to be genuine. I never really thought about it. My dreams just came true. Even more.

I nodded. Alexander Anderson looked me over like everyone so far. Then he smiled and I almost fainted again. I should really get myself together. "Ah suppose they really got the right person fae that job." Wait, WHAT? Was he referencing me to be a fangirl? How the hell did everybody KNOW that? Was it that obvious? At least nobody seemed annoyed, probably (hopefully) because I was doing my best to be professional. Right now, though, I couldn't think of a good question.  
"Where do all the bayonets come from?", I blurted out.

Anderson roared with laughter. Just like I always imagined him to sound. "Holy magic, deary. Like the bible teleportation."

I nodded. Awesome. Right from the man himself. "You do all the stunts yourself, Mr. Anderson?"

"Come on, we're all friend here. Alex. And aye, Ah do. More fun like that."

I really needed to ask more structured, if I couldn't come up with better questions. "Your character has no given background, but Hans said you all made stuff up..."

"Hey, don't blame me!", the 'werewolf' said, raising his hand in defense, but with a grin on his face.

"Well, the paladin's motivation is God. As ye see when Enrico goes overboard." He blinked. "Tell ye whit, it's weird tae talk aboot the character but know there's a guy wi' the same name but who's totally nice." That figured. It would be super weird for me too. "He's gotta have ae miltary background, Ah'd say even before Iscariot. He's loyal tae God, nae the Vatican itself."

"And the relationship to Alucard?" Actually I was thinking more about a few fanfics I read, but I didn't really want to bring that up.

"I'd say we're best enemies." I winced a bit, I have to admit. I had seen him on the set, of course, but... Damn, even the actor Vladimir Tepes seems to possess the ability to suddenly turn up somewhere. He had taken off the coat and wore a black suit under it. I had never been a crazed Alucard-fangirl, but _shit he is hot_ was the only thought I was capable of right now. He casually laid an arm around Alexander's shoulders, which was only possible because he was freakishly tall too. It was standing between three really big pillars. The Scot raised an eyebrow at him and threatened with a glistening bayonet. "Get awey fae me, demonic!" He laughed and shoved the Romanian away, who played offended.

"How can you do that to me? I thought you loved me!", he exclaimed theatrically. I literally couldn't anymore. So did Anderson, who got into a serious laughing fit. In the end I just laughed with him. There were a million questions in my head (none of them if they were a couple – both were happily married as far as I knew) and I couldn't even get out _one._ My brain had them, my throat wanted to form them but my lips didn't obey. Thankfully, Hans helped me out.

"Do you mean on the set or in character?"

"Both," I managed weakly.

"Well, they respect each other. Alucard and the paladin, I mean," Vladimir said. "They are best enemies, as I said. They enjoy fighting too much to actually hate each other. Alucard was sad when- Oh wait, I'm not spoilering you, right?"

"Before you spoiler her, you'd have to invent a new chapter," Hans said. I glanced up at him and was unsure if that was mockery or a joke. I went for the joke, because he seemed too nice for mockery. Vladimir smiled. "Well then, he was sad when the paladin died. They have a bond to each other, because they are both monsters in a way."

"Which dinnae means the paladin's nae going tae kill Alucard if he has the chance," Alexander added with a grin, leaning on his friend's shoulder.

"So... and on the set? In general?"

"We're all friends," Hans said. "There are a few... difficulties from time to time, especially under stress, but yeah."  
"You're talking about Seras Victoria?"

Hans shrugged and looked at the other two trump cards. "I don't want to gossip. Everybody gets a bit difficult from time to time. But we hang out together a lot and we're a team. Last week, Vlad would have made a crash landing if Alex hadn't caught him."

"Sure thing," a voice said. Seras walked past us with a snort and vanished to refresh her make-up.

"Ignore her," Vladimir told me. That seemed to be normal here.

"Eh... yeah." Alright, this was NOT what I had expected when I came here. "Since all the trump cards are here..." That brought me a few grins. "Hellsing is a very dark series. You could truthfully say there are only anti-heroes, villains... and Seras I guess." Unexpectedly, at least for me, the three broke into laughter. I stared at them, unsure what to do. Alexander wiped his eyes, which probably gave the make-up artist a heart attack.

"Thas ae guid yin. Ah'll remember that," he gasped. I blushed a deep red, I was sure of that, because now everybody from the set was looking at me. If the people were in character, the scene would have been very weird. The trump cards here; Enrico Maxwell was having a somewhat private talk with his girlfriend, it seemed; Schrödinger / Simon was talking to Walter and Heinkel; and Marco Renaldo was chatting with Pip Bernadotte on his way out.

I cleared my throat for what felt like... way too often. "It's a dark series with questionable morals. What do you think about that and working on such a thing?"

"You're right," Hans said. "A Nazi werewolf, a psychotic and outdatedly bigoted Catholic organization, and Dracula himself."

"Thas dark, ah'richt," Alexander agreed. "But Ah think mah character is righetous all in all, except fae the every-other-religion-is-evil part. And he's guid wi' kids."

"How's that, anyway?" I had discussed that with my friends (one friend. No plural.) quite a while.

"Ah think it's aboot balance. Tae calm him down." He shrugged his shoulders.

"So... On the set, how would you describe the atmosphere? Did you become friends here?"

"Actually, Alexander was the one who brought me on board in the first place," Vladimir said. They fist-bumped. Damn, this would make a cool scene. The Romanian actor looked at his friend, waiting for him to continue.

"That was on the day we were scheduled tae start shooting," Alexander explained. "It was night, we were shooting the first impressions o' Hellsing mansion and pretty much everyyin was there tae get tae know each other. Ah had read the script and Max came up tae me and said: I still dinnae know who tae cast as Alucard. See, there were a lot o' auditions and all, but nobody really felt richt."

"Why did he come to you, specifically?", I asked.

"Ah suppose because we'd have tae be best enemies and it had tae be the richt match. Got tae ask him yerself." I nodded and he continued. "Ah thought aboot it fae a second and then Ah said: Ah've got the right guy. Ah went tae Hans and asked him, and he said he'd agree." I looked at Hans, who nodded.

At this point, Vladimir interrupted. "It was three in the night when he called me, straight from the set. You see, I was in Romania at that time. He told me to come there the next evening, because he had the perfect role for me. And I did."

"Just like that?", I asked.

He nodded. "We've been buddies for years. If he says he's got something for me, then I trust his judgment. So I arrived at the set, in a suit. I had seen some of the artworks Alex had sent me and I thought, hey, what could be cooler than a vampire in a suit? So those two idiots told me I should just sneak up to the director, Max, and startle him a bit, that would make the best audition. And I was like: Say whaaat? Max Montana is one of the greatest directors and actors I know and I should just prank him?"

"It took a bit convincing to make him do it. We also introduced him to the other actors before we even knew if Max would hire him," Hans explained with a laugh.

"They somehow managed to keep quiet about the whole thing. Every last one of them. And that kinda convinced me," Vladimir said. "So I walked up to Max while his back was turned, and tried to appear very dark and mean, but also calm and so on, and said quietly: 'Is this the set of Hellsing Ultimate?'." He did the dark voice really well. I shivered. "I know, that's not really creative, but Max almost jumped into the next tree. It was really funny, to be honest. He turned around and looked me over and I thought 'Crap, now he's mad and I missed my chance', because he had gotten coffee all over his shirt, and then he turned to the others and said: 'We've got our Alucard.'"

They laughed and I laughed with them. That was a really cool story. I had to write that. With the material I had so far, it felt like I could fill a complete magazine.

There was a small chirping sound in someone's pocket. Alexander dug out his phone. "Ah, deary, Ah gotta gae. We'll shoot in twenty minutes and Ah'm not even ready." Now I realized what had been bugging me about his in-character appearance all the time: The scar was missing.

"Right, we all have to go. Hey, I'm sure anybody will be happy to show you around a bit more," Hans said. "We'll continue later." That was certainly an awesome promise, though I really doubted they would be able to keep it. It was already a miracle I had been able to keep my real identity hidden for so long. Vladimir winked at me (I blushed) and the three disappeared into the hallway. I looked around and realized I was basically alone in the studio. So... why not look around a bit.

* * *

It only took me a few steps into "Krauney House", or simply the conference room, and I felt like I was walking through a real-life dream. You know the feeling when you're standing in a spot you saw in a movie and think: 'Man, this is great'? Triple that feeling and you get how I felt. I took a glance at Maxwell's papers. That sneaky guy had actually some of his text hidden in between. The others were newspaper reports about the series. They weren't shown up close, so it probably didn't matter. I looked around. Nobody near. I clutched my notepad even more tightly and sat on the chair the Leader of Section 13 had been assigned before.

"You're insane," I said quietly, but in my best Italian accent. "All of you! Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" That was actually a quote from the books, not the series, but what the hell.

"As far as I see that, a quite interested young journalist." I jumped to my feet so quickly I hit my knees on the table. Ouch. But that was nothing against my burning face. Enrico Maxwell smiled at me. He had an arm around his girlfriend's waist and both looked pretty amused. "Nice accent."

"Maybe you should learn something from her?", Integra provoked him. The notepad had slipped my fingers when I jumped up and I hastily picked it up – again -, along with the pencil.  
"Hi," I said, pretty belated. I could be proud my voice didn't shake, I suppose. He extended his hand and I shook it. His violet eyes never really wavered, not like mine, but for some reason, I felt a bit better. Funny to think _he_ was playing this psycho of a bishop.

My brain farted again. That happens a lot when I'm nervous. "Is that your real hair?", I blurted out.

He blinked. Then they both burst out laughing. I didn't know I was such a funny person until I came here. My head was still glowing, so that didn't make a difference anymore.

"Yes," he said eventually. "Though I'm normally more blond."

"A...And you're wearing contacts, right?"

"Yeah. Blue-eyed blonde. The perfect Aryan," he said with a grin. I must have looked pretty flustered, because he added: "I'm joking."

I laughed, at least only half-forced. "Sure. Never thought anything else." My voice wanted to escape once more, but I refused to clear my throat again.

"When we're already on the matter, how do you manage to keep your hair like that?" This question was directed at Integra. She shrugged. "Way too long with the stylist. Believe me, it's not worth it."

I nodded. At least for once that was an answer I had expected.

"Is it hard to pretend you hate each other on the screen?"

They answered at the same time. He said "Yes", she said "no" immediately. He looked at her with a hurt expression I was not sure if it was real or if he was only- well, he _was_ an amazing actor.

"Hey!"

"What, hey? Calling you a swine was damn fun, sweetie." She nudged him playfully.

He sighed. "It's my job. At least I find it hard to insult the person I -" She cut him off with a kiss on his temple. "Pfft," he pouted. "Don't think that works every time. Hey, that doesn't get into your article, right?"

I shook my head, amused and touched. Also, I had trouble seeing them out of character. It was weird. But bloody hell, they were _so cute._

"Tell you what," Integra turned to me. "He can't hurt a fly. And now he's playing a mass-murdering psychopath."

"Says the one who" He ended the sentence by whispering something into her ear. Integra growled, but didn't deny whatever he had said.

"If you had to characterize... your character..." _Yay_ for my phrasing. "What would you say about their cha- their attitude and motivations, goals, you know." No, I would not use the word character for a third time. Sheesh.

"Ladies first," Maxwell said.

Integra thought about it for a moment. "She's not as strong as she seems. And I don't think she even likes the job, but it's her duty and she tries to make the best of it."

"She doesn't like it?", I echoed. I had never gotten that idea.

"It's hard. She has to make all the decisions and is responsible for everything. She got in when she was way too young and still is. Also, she can't appear weak because not only the political opponents but also Alucard himself would prey on that. Am I making any sense so far?"

I nodded. Man, that was something. Even if I got kicked out I still had enough to write an awesome article and sell it anonymously to one of the big magazines. Maybe I could even blackmail Stella into leaving me alone. That was not my style, my Mum had taught me better, but three weeks in a big magazine had put more holes in my moral walls than I'd like to admit.

"So she would rather do another job?"

Another pause. The real Lady Integra was by far not as impulsive or angry as her fictional counterpart. She was thoughtful, a bit like Hamlet.

"She wants to, I suppose, but it would be hard. She was brought up like that and led Hellsing from a very young age. If you grow up like that, it's like a sect, you can't get out." I hastily scribbled down a few notes. My tape recorder was still in my bag. I should have used it by now. Not that I would forget one minute of this day.

"The only time you see her weak is when she gets angry. That's her cover up. But she's stubborn and a mentally strong person, all in all. ...Did that help you?"

I beamed. "Oh, yes, that was perfect. Thank you."

"The archbishop is a bit similar to her," Maxwell started, but broke off at Integra's skeptic glance. "No, really. But he's not as mentally stable as her and his morals are different. I mean, see, he's scarred by the abandonment of his parents as a child, just like her. But instead of duty, he turns out selfish with no regard for even those who care about him."

"You mean Alexander Anderson," I said quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"And his childhood friends Heinkel and Yumie, too. I read a few fan takes on his story and I can only agree that he just wants love and affection. The sad paradox is that he is unable to see if somebody really is affectionate towards him. So that turns into narcissism and arrogance."

I was scribbling wildly. The archbishop had been my favorite character all along, did I mention that? I mean, I love them all, but he was the guy I liked immediately, more than Integra, to be honest. Maxwell waited until I was done writing, which I was grateful for.

"He's really bossy because he's scared of being helpless, like he was when his parents abandoned him. Besides, that's another parallel to the Sir."

Integra made a 'the heck are you talking about?"-face that didn't need any words. Maxwell raised an eyebrow. "What do you think why the series is all about how cool she is and everybody can be lucky to have her as the great master?"

Integra had no real answer to that. I had never really thought about it that way, but he was making sense. Then again... was that some kind of rivalry they acted out even out of character?

"He's a coward," she said.

Maxwell – the real one – shrugged. "Yeah, alright. He's covering it by displaying dominance like Integra, but he's more scared than her. Plus the hate for 'heathens'," he made air quotes, "which I blame the paladin for by the way. In the end you got a sociopath with homicidal tendencies."

"So if he would not have been abandoned by his parents or been adopted, would things have been different?", I asked.

"Sure. He might never have joined Iscariot. He'd still be difficult, I suppose. That's what remains after such a shock. Completely different life."

"And the same goes for Integra, right?", I said. I was trying to keep it balanced, independent of my own personal interest. That was pretty hard, to be honest. "I mean, if her Father hadn't died, or Richard had tried something more subtle to get his hands on Hellsing."

"Her Father... I think that was Walter's fault."

I stared at her. _What?_ She shrugged her shoulders. "Could be possible, right? He was working for Millennium all along, so why not? ... That doesn't get into the article, right? I don't want to spoiler anyone."

"Uh, no," I stuttered. Holy crap, she was right! That was entirely possible! I couldn't wait to tell my best friend about this.

"I think you just blew her mind, darling," Maxwell said. I tried to get a grip on my thoughts.

"So... uh... back to your characters for a second... In Hellsing there are a lot of deaths..." What did I want to ask again?

"It's accepted in all organizations," Integra said. At least she knew where this was going, even if I didn't. "Let's just forget Millennium for a second, they're different. She's got a problem with innocents dying, but that's about it. She's really ruthless and doesn't hesitate to kill anyone who shows any resistance to her morals."

"I thought you would say 'evil intentions'," Maxwell said. "Then again, in the series that's pretty much the same. Killing everyone who doesn't agree is more Iscariot's job, with the difference that their morals are obviously wrong."

"Do you really need to make everything a sociological discussion?", Integra sighed.

He laughed. "What do you think I studied that for?" Oh, right. Enrico Maxwell has a bachelor in social psychology. Then he became an actor. And I wasn't even sure what to do with my life yet. Wow.

"Anderson is pretty much the same," he continued. "Except he's less selfish and rejects what is basically a war crime. Though there are some sanity issues there, too. But you better talk about that with Alex himself." For the past five minutes I couldn't help staring at that silver ponytail, that now lay over his shoulder. He was normally blond, we already talked about it. I totally like blond hair with guys. And long hair.

"So Simon was right, they sent a fangirl," Integra said. I winced, but she smiled. "No offense. Better than a bored journalist who doesn't know the topic."

"Mr. Maxwell..."

"Oh please. Enrico."

Awesome. Just awesome. "Enrico... may I..."

He grinned. God, he had a beautiful smile. I could barely imagine him playing the psychopath. Then again, he was a really good actor. "Yes, you may." My head was glowing brighter than a 30 Watt bulb, but I stroked the silver stream. It was really soft, and I tried not to melt. Yes, that's what you call a fangasm. In this, I had overestimated the distance between us and stumbled forward. He had to let go of Integra, but he caught me. She seemed to have trouble not to laugh as I stared up at them with happy, dazed eyes. (I can't be sure, but I suppose what it had to look like.) He helped me up and I noticed I had not dropped my notepad, which was something, at least.

"I... uh..." My voice failed. "I don't want to disturb you longer than necessary. One last question. Is it weird to play characters with your name?"

"Oh yes!", they said in unison and then laughed.

"It's super weird," Enrico said. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but we're using synonyms. My character is mostly just called "the archbishop" by everyone so as not to confuse him with me. I mean, you see this bigoted and basically psychopathic bishop named Enrico Maxwell. Most don't think twice about a character when they see a movie or series for the first time. They just take in what he acts like. And most forget that I'm a real person, that it's my name and I'm nothing like him. ...I hope." Integra laid an arm around his waist again.

"Oh, I'll take care of that."

He blinked, as unsure about how to interpret that as I was. "Don't quote that, please."

I wouldn't. Hell, no. "Do you see similarities?"

He frowned. "Well, I do understand why he acts like he does. It's a product of his backstory... or what I invented as his backstory. That's necessary so I can play him in a convincing way. But his attitude and morals... that's simply horrible. I mean, I'm Catholic too, but hell, how outdated is Iscariot? I pity him, but that's about it."

"So no similarities?"

"I'm half-Italian," he said with a shrug and smile. "My Mum is Italian, my Dad Canadian. I grew up in Canada, which is like the most tolerant place _ever._ I've got a little sister and a wonderful girlfriend and a cool job. So, no, not really." He leaned forward a bit and grinned, now a bit more like the man he played on screen. "But here's a secret: It's good to be bad."

"I see that," Integra said wryly. He winked at me and I noted down "It's good to be bad."

"We'll shoot some of the scenes in the glass cube later. I'll ask Max if you can join him and see how directing is done."

"You just want publicity," Integra accused him. She turned to me. "That's what he has in common with his role. Always sneaky, but publicity in the right moment."

I had to smile about their friendly quarrels. Only a couple truly at ease with each other could act like that in front of a journalist (or what they supposed to be a journalist).

"And to get back to your question, yes, it's really weird. We try to make it as clear as possible that the real Hellsing organization is not like the fictional, and we don't have vampires. But hey, I wanted that role, so..."

"That's exactly what a secret organization with vampires would say." I squinted at her and she laughed out loud. Yep, looked like I was funnier than I thought. "I'll make it clear in the article."

A door opened and Seras poked her head in. "You need to get into make-up. Now." Then she slammed the door shut again.

The two leaders looked at each other. "I don't see any need for that," Enrico said to her. She blushed a bit and nudged him.

"Don't be silly." She turned to me. "Hey, Fran, great interview. We'll see you later, right?"

Enrico winked at me. "Three o'clock, Studio Three. I worked really hard on the psycho-laugh for this." I could only nod and followed them a few steps in the direction of the make-up rooms. When they went in I saw a familiar face: Yumiko Takagi. She was one of the best make-up artists in Great Britain. And at the same time she even managed to play a small, but important role in the series. That's what you call talent.

I wandered around aimlessly, not finding anyone who didn't look super-busy. I saw a boy with black hair snatch a few treats from the buffet. That was probably Corey, who played Young Walter in the series and (hopefully) in Hellsing: The Dawn, which would be made if the series was successful. He was the grandson of the original Walter Dornez, who played said role. His younger versions were played by his son Roger and grandson Corey. Actor family. I shouldn't be surprised. I wondered a bit why there was nobody keeping an eye on me. All series had some secrets to keep until the release. Maybe they just figured I already knew so much it didn't matter.

Eventually I stumbled into a break room which was empty except for Simon Montana / Schrödinger reading what turned out to be the script. I'm saying Schrödinger, because he was still in full costume and _the ears twitched_. On screen this was one thing, even on the set I hadn't been super-shocked, but _now_? Yes, I was staring. And I was staring so hard I was too slow to retreat before he turned around. He showed me a remote and grinned. He pressed a button and the ears straightened up. "Cool, huh?" Yes. That was cool. I wanted cat ears too. "You're the journalist, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry for disturbing you."

"No probs." I noticed he looked at my notepad with much more nervousness than the others, and avoided my eyes a few times. He was seventeen, barely older than me. He would only be allowed to watch the whole series legally when it was finished, after his 18th birthday. Must be hard to grow up with the expectations to be a movie star.

I realized I had said that out loud. He shrugged his shoulders. "Dad never forced me to be anything," he said. "I just liked acting. Dad never expected anything from me except for standing up for myself and working hard on whatever I thought was right for me."

"That's your first role in a series, right? Are you excited?"

He looked down for a moment and the ears flicked. I suppose he had gotten used to expressing emotions with them. That was really cool. "Yes. The others are really nice and all, but the critics already think I only got the role because Dad is the director. Actually it was Hannah's idea to get me on board. She said I could play an evil guy just as well as a funny one. And Schrödinger is both."

I nodded, trying to look as if I knew who the heck Hannah was. The co-director, I assumed. So Integra was not involved in that. He smiled. "And hey, look at me, I'm a cat boy. That's cool." He looked me up and down a bit more closely. Sure, I was fangasming over the other guys (and in a non-'that's so hot'-way over some of the girls as well) as well, but Simon was the only one not younger than me or totally out of my age range. (Delusional fangirl here, you see?)

He might have misread my gaze. "Yeah, I know, I'm short," he sighed. "I'm freaking seventeen and I'm even smaller than my Dad. Runs in the family, I suppose."

"I, uh, I didn't mean anything like-"

"You know what, wait a moment." He jumped to his feet and returned after a few seconds with a redheaded woman. "That's Katherine. Kate, that's Fran. I'm sure she would look great as a cat girl."

Kate laughed. "Simon, you're too nice for this job. Alright, turn around," she told me. I did and Simon sat down opposite of me so we could continue the interview. I was way too flustered for that and only got out a weak "Thanks." His ears flicked and I suddenly had an idea what I could ask.

"That might seem very specific, but how did you... or will you shoot the splinters? I mean the scene in Seras' subconscious when she fights Zorin."

"Oh, there was a frame I should climb through." He leaned forward and the ears lay back in his blond hair. He blushed a bit. "Actually I stumbled. I think Dad kept it in. But don't tell anyone it was not on purpose."

"A lot of the series is made with a green screen, right?"

"Hell, yes. We try to shoot in the locations as much as possible, but for example the Vatican didn't even allow more than a purchased shot of the city. The scenes with the Pope are all done on our set here." I had pretty much expected that. When Angels & Demons was filmed, the Vatican was unhappy about that as well and the team had to rebuild the St Peter's plaza a third smaller on their set. "We just don't have any other choice. But it's okay, I guess. I look forward to the scene where Schrö cuts off his head." He grinned and drew his finger over his throat. "We'll shoot that in the location. I tell you, it was super-hard to get London Dungeon and all to take down most of their flags and all, so we have a clear shot." I knew that tower seemed somewhat familiar. Now I knew exactly where the scene took place. Holy shit, I had walked past there so often and didn't even realize.

"How would you describe Schrödinger?"

"He's the Major's pet and somewhat a child, but also a monster." He blinked. "Does that make sense?" I nodded. Simon seemed relieved. "I read a few really good fanfics abut how he came into existence. There's this father-son relationship with the Doctor, and his respect for the Captain. Basically, he's as playful as a cat but he's also really loyal to his mission and has just as little conscience as everyone at Millennium."

We were interrupted by Kate saying "Done." I looked into the mirror and was totally confused to see beige cat ears sticking out of my black hair. "They won't move, though. Sorry." I shook my head. "Whoa."

"Hey, let's take a selfie," Simon said. "Kate, you too." He held away his phone and put his other arm around me while Kate stepped behind us. He was still wearing the fangs, I noticed. I tried to smile without shaking too badly. His arm was warm, although it was kinda chilly in here and he was wearing short sleeves and trousers. Selfie made, he asked me for my phone number, so he could send it to me. I prayed I didn't mess up the number, because I didn't have it for really long. My parents just thought I was old enough and as a journalist, it was useful.

"Is there a reason why the ears are a different color than the hair?", I asked.

It was Katherine who answered. "It had to be obvious. Otherwise the audience might miss it at the first glance and that would ruin the effect." I nodded and took notes like I knew what I was doing, which I had done for several hours now. God, time was flying by and my cover hadn't been blown yet. I'm one lucky girl.

"You'll stay the whole day?", Simon asked. His normally brown eyes were very pink. Contact lenses, of course. ("Pink is a girl color." Yeah, go fuck yourself. Cheshire Cat coolness.)

"Uh, sure," I said. I'd stay as long as I could, until I was kicked out because the real Fran arrived or Stella called. Simon smiled and jumped to his feet.

"Awesome. Then I'll introduce you to our second director now. You already met my Dad briefly, right? He should be available for an interview now." He took my hand and dragged me along. I could barely call out a "Thanks" to Katherine before the door slammed shut. I still didn't know who that second director was, but I also didn't want to ask. Simon led me into another studio where the actors were just having a break. Walter was there, and Integra and Vladimir. They waved at me. I waved back and almost ran right into Simon.  
"Hi Dad. Look who I brought."

Max looked up and smiled at me. He had a script in his hands, scribbled all over with notes in red pen. "Our guest. Hello." Again, I was not sure if he was in costume. But he did look good in the suit. His eyes were very golden. If those were contact lenses too? I didn't think so. Yeah, he was definitely the right person for the Major. We shook hands. His grip was firm, but not too firm, warm and dry. Shaking hands was a mystery to me. I never really managed that properly.

"How do you like your visit so far?", he asked me.

"It's awesome," I blurted out. Damn it, I should get a role as a sheep.

"Good to hear. Ah, you haven't been introduced to my colleague?" He stepped out of the way. The blonde woman looked up. She had taken off the coat and sunglasses, but the "weapons" were still strapped on over her black shirt with the clerical collar.

She smiled and offered me her hand. Again, I wasn't sure how to judge, but I think I managed. "Hannah Rogers. Co-director."

I said the first thing that came to my mind. "Is there any crew member that doesn't play some roll in the series?" They looked at each other.

"Nope," Hannah said. "Everyone gets the chance to play a more or less important role. So far, nobody refused."

"Everybody?", I repeated. She laughed about my incredulity.

"Why not? Max plays the Major, I play Heinkel Wolfe. The cheddar vampire was our production assistant Mike, and so on."

"Cool," I said, because that was the only thing I could say. I had just become aware I had cat ears. For Simon that seemed to be normal, but not for me. I heard snickers and comments (I didn't understand them, which did not really help).

"So you take turns in directing when the other is not available?"

"Exactly. There is not a single scene where Heinkel and the Major appear together, at least not from a technical point of view. Actually, that is the case with no character outside of Millennium except for Integra and Seras." I thought about that for a moment. Max was right. I had never thought about it that way, because it was irrelevant. Only for them it wasn't.

"So is it fun to play the bad guy?", I asked. "Enrico said so." I had used the first name on a daily basis while talking about the character. A real person was different. It felt strange.

"Var," he said, suddenly in a distinctive accent I had already heard. "Is ze greatest single zing on earth. Zere is nothing else I enjoy more." At least I was not the only one who looked confused. Hannah's frown turned into a grin and she waved a hand at me. I shouldn't mind, just go on.

"Herr Major," I said, pronouncing it every bit as German as I had learned, "is war all you care about? What about the death of your people? In World War Two?"

"Death... is a hoax. It does not matter if ve die or live. I hear most of us vould quite enjoy it to go out in ze right vay. You see, ve can not just die, mein Fräulein. Our enemy is Alucard and ve vill overthrow him. After zis, it does not matter. Life, death, vhere is ze difference?"

"You said that to Integra Hellsing. About Alucard, I mean. That is pretty straightforward."

"After so many years of hiding, it ist time to show ze vorld ve exist. Hitler vas an idiot. If I had vanted to, ve could have von... if he only had included me from ze beginning, zat is. But no, it is better like zis. All ve vant is ze perfect var, to destroy ze monster looking like a man."

"You are the mastermind behind this plan and this... set. How come you are so determined on war? Any... story to tell about your earlier years?"

"Ah, mein Fräulein, lots of zem, but none vould interest you. It is only important zat ve are remembered. Not just Hitler and his bunch of children, but ve, Millennium."

"Don't you feel anything for the people you spent the last fifty-five years... no, seventy years with?"

"Vhat does a hunter feel for his bait? Pity? No, not even zat."

Holy shit. I was just interviewing the Major. Like, the _Major_ , not Max Montana. And I had just run out of questions. Max saw me desperately searching for words and was kind enough to break character. I could have prepared this if I had known. Because I kinda regretted it had ended already.

"Did I startle you?"

"More like surprised me," I said. My voice was slightly trembling. "That was amazing."

Max laughed. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to see how you react. And I needed to practice anyway."

"As if!", Simon grinned. "Who needs practice here?"

"So you like playing the bad guy," I asked, which was a pretty superfluous question. I had already seen how much fun it was for him. "Actually, you're a bit similar."

He raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain?"

I tried to order my thoughts. No stuttering. "I mean, he's the mastermind behind the whole plot. As are you, in a more metaphorical way. You've got all the strings on this project." Max looked at me like I had three heads, his cheeks reddening. Wait, what? Hannah and Simon laughed.

"She's totally right," Simon said. In the end, Max joined in, but he seemed a lot more uncomfortable than I had expected. Actually I had expected him to laugh and agree or something similar. Nothing serious. We were just trying to have fun. I changed the topic.

"How do you do the accents? I mean, how did you prepare?"

"Most of us had language tutors before the shoot and they are on the set from time to time. At least when we thought it was needed."

"When was it not?"

"Well, many of the actors grew up with an accent or can at least fake it perfectly. That would be Vladimir, Enrico, Alexander, Yumiko, Seras and Integra. Others, like me, needed a bit more training to play it convincingly. Oh, and Rita as a native German."

"Rita plays Rip van Winkle, right?", I asked, just to be sure. I had only noted down "accents."

"Yes. She's our music supervisor."

"Where is she, anyway?", I asked. Actually I'd love to know where all the others were I hadn't seen yet.

"Rita has an opera to star," Max said with a smile.

"Jolene, who plays Zorin Blitz, should still be with our make-up artist Yumiko," Hannah said. "You can talk to her later. I bet they both appreciate a little change. They're always complaining about the lot of work the tattoos are." I nodded. I certainly wanted to ask them a few questions. If later was an option. "The other co-stars have a day off."

"The Dok too?"

That caused laughter again. "No, he's our technical supervisor. The way he talks he's working more than all of us together. I doubt he'll find the time for an interview. I'll see to arrange something on another day, if you want."

 _I really doubt that._ "Sure. Uhm... hey, so far, you were all so kind to me. I... just wanted to thank you for that."

I got a few curious glances, but nobody asked any more details. Simon laid an arm around my shoulders. "Hey, that's only natural. We had a lot of fun and it's not even noon." I felt myself blush.

Hannah – I always called her Heinkel in my thoughts, which was not really fair – grinned at this sight and that gave me an idea. "What do you think about your character... and her partner, Yumie?"

"Oh, and I thought you'd ask a difficult question," she said, not mentioning at all that I had been asking that question every last actor. "They're best friends. No, more like sisters. They grew up together, and trust each other blind. They're a bit chaotic, but that's some kind of strength."

"There was... a bit of confusion as to the gender of your character at first." Thank God, she didn't seem offended.

"I know," she said, amused. "In my opinion she was always supposed to be a girl, even though the design was changed since Crossfire. She just needs to stand her ground among all the men and that's her way."

That was pretty much what the fandom said, too. No surprises here. "How did you get that role if you're the co-director?"

"Oh that was easy," Hannah said. "I came here for checking out the locations and the possible actors. And somebody, I don't even know who, says: "Hey, she could totally play Heinkel Wolfe." and I'm like: 'She's badass, she's got guns, I want that role.'"

I had to ask. It was what we had been discussing for weeks and weeks. "Off the records, what do you think about the ending? I mean... is it more cruel to leave her alive? Should the Captain have killed her instead of showing mercy by only wounding her?"

Hannah puffed her cheeks out. "There we go. One hell of a tough question you're asking." She paused for a moment. "It might seem inhuman, because many see life as the final gift that should not be destroyed for any reason, but... I think he should have shot her. It would have been the bigger mercy than letting her suffer, lonely and forced to live on for whatever time span. Joining her family in Limbo is her biggest wish and it's denied." She blinked. "Huh, I really got into character there. That won't get into your article, right?"

I shook my head. "Just curious." I was aware that Simon had his arm still around my shoulders. I wanted to keep it that way, so I didn't write anything down. "About the project in general, do you think it's going to be successful? Everybody's waiting and rumor has it you have quite the big budget."

Max chuckled. "Well, thanks to the Hellsing family, that is certainly true. One thing you have to consider is that Hellsing Ultimate is really dark, so not everybody will like it." He looked at his son and a smile crossed his features. "We're not hoping for any of the mainstream awards. Horror series never get those. But we're trying to stay true to the original and hopefully the fans will appreciate that." With such a budget, special effects and _that_ cast? It would not be good, it would be _awesome._

"Oh, they will," I replied with enough conviction for ten normal movie-goers. I couldn't wait to see the finished series.

"Well, that from a true fan. Really motivates," Hannah said with a smile. She looked at her phone. "Sheesh, it's already noon. I'm hungry."

"We wanted to grab a bite anyway before this evening," Max said. And with a smirk he added: "Hopefully vithout any interruptions, ja, mein Fräulein?"

"Yeah, come with us, please?", Simon asked me and flicked his ears. So far, I hadn't been kicked out, so why not? He purred, which earned him a sigh from his father.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Simon, but could you please-" Simon grinned.

"You're stuck with that for months from now," Hannah prophesied. "My sis was the same at that age."

"Is... everybody coming?", I asked, somewhat nervous.

"Most, I suppose. Jolene will probably stay here because of the make-up and Seras never comes with us," Simon said, a little growl in his voice at the end. "Did you already talk to everyone?"

"N-No..."

"What kind of article are you writing, anyway?" For a second, there was a panicked blank space in my mind where my brain was running in circles screaming. Then somebody came to my rescue.

"We should better discuss this over lunch when everyone is present, don't you think?" For the first time I noticed a soft accent in Vladimir's voice. I was not even a particular fan of him, but _hell_. I was saved. For now.

"I agree. Also, since we have a real fan here, maybe she can answer us a few questions as well," Max said. Wait, what? How? Why? HUH? I didn't say anything. Simon linked his arm with mine and the whole group went on their way to what I supposed would be the front door. We went through so many different sceneries I recognized, but a lot were missing, so it would probably be shot in the location. But I say the freight room of the Deus Ex, the command center, the basement of Hellsing mansion (which obviously looked different in real life) and again Maxwell's office. It said a lot that they even constructed the set for a scene that lasted for like thirty seconds, and the scenery wasn't even important. One after the other, we were joined by the other actors, Alexander, Hans, the Dornez-family, Pip. It was fangirl paradise and I tried to act like it was no big deal. Corey (Young Walter, I remind you) asked if we were shooting an alternate version with female Schrödinger and winked at me. I got quite a few compliments.

Only Seras stayed away after rolling her eyes seeing the whole group. I didn't even ask, but Vladimir answered me anyway: "Should she stay in her room with her low-calory-vegan rabbit food. Her problem if she doesn't want any friends."

We stopped in the front hall to wait for the others who were still missing. Man, the businesses here were probably making their living off the film crew alone.

"Uh, Simon, where's the bathroom?", I asked in a low voice. It's not really an awkward thing to ask, but asking one of your favorite actors? Meh.

"Down that corridor, then left, the third door on the right," he said, pointing at a door left of the entrance. I thanked him and wandered off. In my excitement I had not noticed, but I was close to jumping on the spot right now.

Actually, it was the fourth door. The third was the men's room, but let's not split hairs. I felt incredibly relieved, not only in a biological way. I was close to whistling in my happiness of being here and everybody being so nice. Well, that was until I stood there washing my hands and Fran came from another stall. Fran Daringer, who I had pretended to be for about four hours now. The problem was, she recognized me on first glance and I had no means of escape.

Her green, way too strongly accented eyes narrowed. I thought she might shoot me with lightning at any moment. She staked over to me in her business costume and designer bag, on high heels I would break my neck with if I tried to walk in them. Her nostrils flared.

"You!", she said through gritted teeth and almost stabbed me with a long fingernail. "Are fired. What do you think, just turning up here? If you ruined the interviews, we're going to sue you!"

It was not the smartest move, but people like her scared me and that made me angry. I got iffy when I was angry. "For what?", I asked.

She stabbed at me again and my bottom hit the sink. "That is an unique chance for our magazine. You will never, ever get an internship or a job in our biz again, you arrogant little shit. And what is that supposed to be?" She grabbed the cat ears, which ripped painfully at my hair, then she grabbed me by the collar of my blouse – I had really tried to look professional today – and dragged me down the corridor.

"You will explain to Mr. Montana and the others that you are a sneaky little impostor and apologize to them and Stella personally and then you can go home. Don't even think of coming near _Insider_ or any of them again."

"Is there a problem?" Max' voice startled us both. I managed to break free and smoothed my blouse. I looked guilty as hell. I even felt a bit guilty. But that didn't mean I regretted my decision. My time here had been too awesome for that. Behind Max, Simon poked his head in. Fran smoothed her skirt, fixed her hair and put on her best smile.

"Mr. Montana? My name is Fran Daringer. The _real_ one." She held up her journalist's pass. "From _Insider_. My editor called you. I am so sorry for the mess she", she indicated me, "made. She was an intern at our place and didn't forward this task to me to selfishly come here. We were already thinking about firing her for behaving like a stalker on our interview subjects." I opened my mouth and nothing came out. My face should speak volumes, though. That was not true! I had never, ever been even in contact with any of the stars. For three weeks, it had always been "Bring me coffee! Take that to Stella! Call the repair, the printer doesn't work! A bit faster this time!".

"So this young lady is not a journalist?", Max asked. Fran kicked my ankle, which hurt like hell. She knew I sprained it six weeks ago and it still hurt if I wasn't careful.

"Go!", she hissed.

I suppressed tears, half pain and half disappointment, and took a deep breath. "I am sorry for lying to you." That was not the apology Fran wanted, but I couldn't give a damn more. I just really hoped they couldn't sue me for anything. My Mum would be so angry at me.

"The interviews still stand, right?", Fran said. Max pondered on that for a second.

"We already did most of these, I suppose." Fran looked like a fish on land while her face slowly reddened. I was dead. "Simon, would you take the young lady outside?"

I trotted away, while Max talked to Fran. Simon walked next to me, not saying anything. I had known it would come to this, so why was I that disappointed? The door was open. Oh, wow, everybody had heard everything. Great.

"I'll go, then, I suppose," I murmured. "Thanks for being so nice. And sorry for lying."

"You're out of an internship now, I suppose?" I looked up. Enrico didn't seem angry, just curious. Like all the others. What the heck...? Hannah laughed when he looked at her.

"You just want her to tell you if you play the perfect psychopath!" That caused a surge of laughter while Enrico pretended to be offended.

Simon linked his arm with mine. "Dad had the idea to ask you about the adaption. After all, we all had the impression you know the matter better than we do."

I still didn't get a complete sentence out. My throat felt tight. The thought was ridiculous. "You knew?", I croaked.

"That editor, what was her name again, Stella, called while you were talking to Alexander," Heinkel said.

"Just thought ye should get ae chance," Alexander said with a grin. "Ye want tae be ae journalist?"

I stared at him. "Author... actually," I managed to get out. Wait, what was going on?

"So you gonna write a story about what happened?", Simon asked. His ears twitched happily. _How the heck_ did he do that? "You think you have enough time in between to help us out?"

Another surge of laughter, probably because of the stupid face I was making. Integra looked me over. "You have a dress or do we have to go shopping for this evening?"

I stared at her and was speechless. You see, I was lucky that I wasn't stammering like an idiot, so that was probably the best case scenario.

"Hey, Hannah, do we have a Girlycard by now?", Vladimir asked the co-director.

She shook her head. "Not yet." She looked a me and squinted. "How tall are you?"  
"Five feet," I said automatically.

"Slightly smaller than Corey. Hm, the size, the hair, with the right make-up... I'll ask Max. Worth a shot." Said director was still talking to a furious Fran Daringer. Looked like it was not going well for _Insider_. "Do you think Seras would be happy about being interviewed by her?" She was looking at Fran with a slight frown.

"For sure," Enrico said. "Can we go now? I'm hungry."

"Oh yes, let's go. The prince is getting restless," Integra mocked him. He grinned and turned around. "Exactly. Follow me, peasants."

I was still trying to wrap my head around it. What would I tell Mum? _Hey, I was kicked out of the Insider internship. But the good news is, I've got a new one at the set of Hellsing?_ Best case would be that they thought I was lying.

Simon pulled me along and prevented me from running into a street lamp or something. "I can't wait for that text of yours. I want to read it first! I'm sure you're gonna be a great Girlycard!"

"I'm not an actor!", I protested. Me on the big screen? _What_? Now I knew what was going on. I was lying in my bed, dreaming, and probably getting late for the internship. Stella would fire me, this time for real.

"Me neither," Hannah said with a dismissive gesture. "Neither are Integra, Max, Corey, Yumiko and half the rest of our cast. The only really popular established actors here are Enrico, Alexander, Hans, Vladimir, Pip, Walter and Seras. All the others had only small roles so far or none at all. No need to worry."

"Okay," said in a small voice, because I didn't want to argue anymore.

"Dad was considering this all along," Simon claimed. "He has an eye for talents. Besides, what would you like to eat? Chinese, maybe?"

"Ah'd have ae more basic question," Alexander interrupted. "We dinnae even know yer real name, lass."

I looked at him, and the others who waited for my response. Me, an actress? Nah. But this would still be the best internship ever.

* * *

And I'm letting off there because I'm evil. (Muhahaha!) Nah, just didn't think it necessary to invent yet another OC. Actually, in my mind the narrator is called Luna, but basically, she's me. Hope you liked this crazy little idea and how the characters turned out.

Let's go to annotations... (You don't need to read it. I tend overexplain things. But feel free to go on.)

First! Please don't kill me for the conference scene. It was a pain in the butt to write it because I couldn't use the manga and had to type everything off the OVA (for obvious reasons) and analyse the shots they used. Also, I have NO idea how you film something. I just went with what I thought would be like it. That's what authors do. Imagination. (Never thought what we learned about film analysis in school would ever help me. So it's good for something after all. Thanks to my English teacher. At least she was cool.)

Second! I took "It's good to be bad" from the Jaguar ads with Tom Hiddleston. I'm a big fan of him and should (won't happen, of course) Hellsing ever get a real-life series / movie, Tom should _totally_ play Enrico Maxwell. He's just the perfect match, not only in his looks. He'd rock that role.

Third! And no, Katherine the red-headed stylist is in _no way_ a reference to Caitlyn Hellsing... *cough* (I'm bad at lying, I know. I suppose that's positive?)

[Too lazy to count.] I never really liked Integra for some reason. Not sure why. But like that, she's okay. She and Enrico were, from a canon perspective, the least likely couple, so here we go. (Also, I like shipping him... *Captain Obvious away*)

The tower where Schrödinger cuts off his head actually is the same building as London Dungeon. I went there with my school and after we were home again my friend and I looked through the photos and were like: "Why didn't we notice that?!" That's about the only real location we could recognize. Hirano doesn't give a lot of hints except on the chapter covers (e.g. the Hindenburg II over Westminest Abbey) which doesn't help for determining where the characters are. If you have ideas, I'd love to know. I've been trying to figure this out for an eternity.

Schrödinger is called Simon as a reference to Simon Petrikov (Ice King) from Adventure Time which I'm binge watching right now. And the name starts with S. Good reason?

Rita / Rip and Jolene / Zorin: I already used their "human names" in Renegade, but they originate from a German fanfic called "Projekt Werwolf". Someday, I hope, I will translate it to English and upload too. But it's like 300 pages and that will take a while.

And Hannah is (in my headcanon) Heinkel's real name. She changed it after coming to the orphanage / when her parents died, because she didn't really trust anyone at first. Rogers because... Captain America. Just seemed a fairly normal name and I didn't want to take Stark or something. xD

Phew, I think that was all. Thanks for reading my totally useless explanations and this crazy story in general. Tell me what you think, if you want. I'm always happy talking about my favorite series.


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